Just when you think

Just when you think things are going well and things are looking really promising, the other shoe drops....I knew it would at some point, at 39 I'm obviously past my prime baby making years but I had hopes that I had somehow defied mother nature and this IVF cycle was going to be really great. I had asked the nurse on Tuesday when they told me I have 5 normally growing embies if there was any possibility that we will still have to do a 3 day transfer if the embies didn't progress well. She assured me that we were on for a 5 day transfer and that they may adjust for a time but to plan on Saturday. I had asked for an update on the embryo progress on Thursday....which apparently they don't usually do? I just needed to know where we were at, the waiting was killing me. She agreed to send me an email update on Thursday. So Thursday morning came - nothing, Thursday late morning - nothing, Thursday noon - nothing, I was starting to think she had forgotten about me......then my phone rang, it was the Dr's office - don't panic, she probably just called instead of emailed.....'Hello?' 'Hi, this is Dr. H'........Crap, the Dr. is calling this can't be good....so he proceeded to tell me that on day 3 they like to see 6-8 cell embryos. We had one 7 cell, one 6 cell, one 5 cell and 2 3 cells. Okay, well that doesn't sound so bad, I was just happy they were still growing...THEN the other shoe dropped. 'We also give them a grade based on how they are looking, A being outstanding, B being good and C being poor. Your embryos are all Grade C.' ........silence and a stomach drop from me. He continued 'Some people want to wait to day 5 to see if they keep progressing, but at this point what I recommend is that we put them back this afternoon, sometimes they do better in their natural environment, can you be here in an hour?'.......Holy crap, I was so not expecting that, I had a ton of things going on at work I needed to finish, I had so many plans of things to get ready and get done before Saturday for our transfer but of course I'm not going to go against his advice. 'I'll call my husband and figure it out....it is an hour drive for us, so give us 2 hours'......so off I flew home, called dh and we flew to the office. When we got there he again explained the embryo grade and we discussed how many we wanted to transfer. The American Reproductive Society or whoever they are, with my age and grade of embryo's recommended 4.....4?! Really? What if by some miracle they all made it? No way no how we could handle 4 babies...We decided we couldn't handle 3 either. Now we know they probably wouldn't all make it, but strange things happen and triplets is not a strange happening we were comfortable with. SO we transferred the 7 cell and the 6 cell. So not the news I wanted to hear, nor the news I was expecting, it was all such a whirlwind, but nevertheless the embryos are back home and we're hoping and praying by some enormous miracle they defy the odds. So here we are officially in the two week wait. Luckily work is super busy so I'e got plenty of distraction, but its hard not to think of it every minute of every hour. Surprisingly I'm pretty calm about it, I've done all I can do. The only thing left is to wait and pray.