5 years

It was 5 years ago today that I saw the most beautiful sight I've ever experienced in my lifetime....two pink lines. We'd been trying for almost 10 months and my cycles were far from regular, I don't even remember now what prompted me to test, but I bought a test on my lunch hour and tested as soon as I got home from work........... it was immediately positive....I remember staring at it in shock, my heart beating rapidly - it was joy but it was also fear, I was suddenly scared, were we ready for this? None of our friends had kids, what were we going to do when they wanted to do things and we had to stay home with a baby? Could we afford a baby? So many questions ran through my mind, I actually had tears in my eyes when I told my husband, honestly they were more scared than happy tears, my husband was shocked as well, this is what we had been trying for for 10 months but now it had really happened - now what? I remember my next step was to take a long walk, I had so much running through my mind, so many things to think over, I took another test the next morning just to be sure....it too was immediately positive. It had started to sink in a little and I was actually starting to get excited, I made a doctor's appointment for later in the day and took a third test there - positive like the others.....I got the run down on the OB schedule, got a load of paperwork and pamplets to browse over the next few weeks til my next appointment....it was really real, we were really going to have a baby!! I finally allowed myself to get excited, we would figure it out, it was all going to be okay.....little did I know that day the way it would eventually turn out, but those few weeks were some of the best of my life. What I wouldn't give to have that chance again.

On another note, my step-father was in a very bad motor vehicle accident yesterday, he is in the hospital with multiple broken ribs and lots of cuts and brusies covering his body. He is 75 years old, so recovery will be painful and slow. He collided with another truck at an intersection, both vehicles were going full speed. He was in the wrong as he did not yield in the uncontrolled intersection and did not see the other pickup coming as his view was blocked by the tall corn. He is lucky to be alive.

Sometimes we just have to be grateful for miracles, even though they might not be the one we're praying for.