Weekend ramblings...

We had a really good weekend, though a little rough in spots. For those that don't know, I live in an itty bitty town, by itty bitty I mean there are a total of 80 people that live there, I'm sure you all didn't know places like this exist...but they do. Its the town my dh grew up in, my MIL and FIL still live there (we get along well so it works out). We love it, its like one big family, everyone watches out for everyone else, their property, their kids, at any given time all the kids in town are at one house or another playing together, if and when we have kids it will be a great place to raise them. The last thing is the tough part, IF is always the question. there are several young families in town, we are the only 'young people' (under 50) that do not have children. The kids create bonds among the town like nothing else, they take turns watching each other's kids, taking them places etc.....and what do we do? We sit by the sidelines, occasionally we socialize, but it seems people think we would be bothered by their children and since we don't have any they don't always invite us to the kid-friendly gatherings. Truthfully its a tough spot to be in and there are days when it hurts more than others. I see the camaraderie and friendships that are formed due to their kids and it makes my heart hurt even more.. This past weekend we decided to have a town picnic/celebration, it was filled fun and games for the kids, free homemade ice cream and ended with a potluck and an outdoor movie for the kids, while it was great fun even for us, I can't imagine what a great day it would have been had we little ones to share it with.

Five years ago today, we said goodbye to our first little angel, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of our little one and wonder what he/she would be like today. A bitter ending to a bittersweet weekend.